why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
