pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
