Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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