Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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