I just gift wrapped bread.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
