RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
