No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
