Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
