How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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