You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
