I showed him my bush... on skype.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
