No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
