You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
