You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
