i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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