i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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