I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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