but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
