Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
