people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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