I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
