So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
