Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
