two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
