24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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