fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
