We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
