woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
