Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
