I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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