Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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