i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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