im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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