Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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