rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
