Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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