Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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