i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
