I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
