Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
