she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I could fuck to npr.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
