There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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