You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is it because I queefed?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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