my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
