There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
