she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
