Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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