Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
