someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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