Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
