This is not my ceiling
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want nice things and good sex
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
