Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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